I often joke with my fiancée, usually after returning an abandoned shopping cart from a grocery store parking lot, that “we need to reintroduce shame into our society.” That’s hyperbolic, but the message behind the joke is sound: We all need to be self-aware enough to understand the impact our actions have on others. The shopping cart problem is a simple one. What’s harder is the question of my willingness to bear a minor inconvenience to ensure someone else doesn’t have to. Choosing to operate with empathy and a prosocial mindset in the workplace can actually feel daunting.
In my own industry, management consulting, I’ve found empathy to be a critical tool for delivering successful projects. When shepherding an organization through a major change or process upheaval, it’s essential to recognize the human element behind your work: You are responsible for creating someone’s new normal. On the other hand, it can often feel so easy to backslide toward selfishness. Factors like stress, burnout or disaffection with a workplace can drive us toward mirroring behaviors that we would rightly shame if we saw them performed by others. Learning how to act our best, in spite of those challenges, is critical to creating an environment that is welcoming to all.
Prevailing psychological research indicates that while most of us believe in our own self-awareness, a much smaller percentage are truly self-aware in a meaningful sense. That means the majority of leaders have work to do.
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